Well, no news is good news...

Before you see this on TV I felt it was only appropriate that you should hear it from me first. Feel free to forward any questions or concerns.
Just know that I’m “okay”.

The press release that went out this morning is below:


Work-strapped Borders Employee Union (BEU 109) Purchases local Landscaping Company

For Immediate Release

Dateline: Nashville, TN - With the fate of the Borders chain uncertain in many markets across the United States, many employee unions are torn with the decision of what to do with the monies in their pension and special union funds. Most unions will divide those funds up evenly or will dump them into special 401 K programs. Others, however, are taking more radical approaches as to how their funds are used. In Nashville, one Borders employee union has taken their fate into their own hands and unanimously voted to invest their funds rather than distribute them.

“We want to work”, said Olmar Chekopski, store manager and Union President of the Brentwood location. “We had just had a collective meeting in which we had decided that we would find a business model we could start or even purchase. My assistant manager walked in at that moment and asked if I still wanted him to put all of the landscaping books on clearance at 60% off.
I looked across the table at our union VP, Jim, who is responsible for the History and Personality Disorder section. He gave me a nod and smile so I said, ‘no, make it 70% off’. We then took some of our union petty cash and bought all of the books. It ended up being a 90% savings with our employee discount and we even get a $50 rebate. Our dream was born. After all, isn’t everyone a landscaper right now? Why shouldn’t we be?”

As fate would have it, one of Border’s lurker customers, so called because they only read books in-store and never purchase, was lurking and reclining while reading the book titled, How to influence Friends, Pets and Music Industry Executives through the Power of Hypnosis and Suggestion,2nd edition, hardback. Alan Murdock, owner of ArtHouse Gardens based in East Nashville was just this person and in the right place at the right time. Chekopski said that he knew Murdock was a landscaper because they had to clean the mud off of their floors and furniture every time he left and that Murdock always disguised his book or comic book choices with the covers from authors like Einstein and Tolstoy. Chekopski admitted that at first he was
going to kick Murdock out of the store for good because Borders perhaps went broke due to the cleaning supplies used after Murdock’s visits when he was overcome with a compulsion. Chkopski felt compelled to ask Murdock if he would be willing to sell his company for a reported, but unconfirmed, six figures to the BEU 109. Murdock immediately accepted pending the union board approval of the purchase.

During the purchase inquiry it was discovered that Murdock had many setbacks in 2010 which was important in the unions decision to purchase ArtHouse Gardens, Inc. or not. Certainly numerous community rumors about Murdock and his company circulate his community which actually peaked
BEU 109’s interest. But some of the rumors and information found during the inquiry was, in fact, common knowledge as Murdock recently disclosed his bout with depression after being denied in the first round of the current American Idol season. “It wouldn’t have been so difficult to hear the rejection had Steven Tyler not kept singing, ‘dream on, dream on’ when I sobbed uncontrollably on international TV begging for the second chance which I deserved.
Honestly, I think Steven was distracted because he was looking at me inappropriately.” Murdock suggested.

But just last week, the Tyler controversy was overshadowed by new claims that local American Idol star Paul McDonald and Street Corner Symphony, the Nashville based acapella group that had recent success on America’s Got Talent competition were really behind Murdock’s quick departure with A.I. TMZ quoted Murdock yesterday saying, “Seriously, I was told by several music business sources that I was bullied out of the competition by my peers that live in my very own community. ” But Murdock’s tenure as an American Idol may still be happen – not just in the musical sense. Be sure to watch Murdock’s depression confession and his weight loss goals on tonight’s episode of ABC’s Biggest Loser. If you ask me, it sounds like Murdock should be on the Biggest Winner, but management for both Paul McDonald and Street Corner Symphony would only comment, “nope, Murdock is pretty much the biggest loser”. Murdock says his biggest goal for 2011 is to hypnotize someone into giving him tickets for an upcoming U2 concert. Have a happy April Fools Day!

For more information about this and other ArtHouse Gardens related news please visit www.arthousegardens.blogspot.com or read Murdock’s articles in past and
Upcoming editions of The East Nashvillian magazine.

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